Y3W: My 1st Ultrasound

Y3W: My 1st Ultrasound

Guess who this is: OUR NEW BABY!!

I had my first ultrasound for baby #2 today, and I was amazed at how incredible it was. I don't really know what I was expecting, I have been soo excited about this baby, and have been in love with him or her since I first saw those two pink lines show up on the test, but I somehow thought that maybe after having been through it already, that it would lose something. I was so happy today to realize that nothing is lost on the second baby. Not only am I just as excited as I was with Addison, but the experience is just as special.

I was actually luckier this time around, because with Addison, when we refused the NT scan, we opted out of the 12 week ultrasound and I had to wait until 18 weeks and 3 days to see her. This time, due to my heart shaped uterus, they wanted to see where the baby was, and get an exact date, so 12 week ultrasound it was.

I don't even have my first real Dr. appt until tomorrow, so up until today, I hadn't even heard a heartbeat. You never know what is going on in there until you at least get a doppler on your belly. I was thrilled today when the tech showed me a very squirmy, very active, and very beautiful little baby. I was also thrilled that there was only ONE in there!

I didn't get much info out of the technician, she was very nice and let me watch the baby for a long time, but she really couldn't tell me much, they like the Dr to do that. She did tell me the baby was too small and squirmy to even guess at the sex, and she did tell me the heartbeat was strong, and that baby was very active. She also told me that Baby P was measuring AHEAD (though she didnt tell me how much) which surprised me because Addison always measured at least a week behind. At one scan, she measured almost two weeks behind!

So tomorrow I get to hear all the details from the scan, I am very eager to hear how far ahead I am measuring, and see if my due date gets changed, and I also get to book my next ultrasound, which will be my anatomy scan where *hopefully* Baby P becomes baby girl or baby boy.

Tonight, Ryan is away for work, and Addison is spending the night with Grammie and Grampie, and I will be home dreaming of that little hand that kept waving at me, the little arms that kept snuggling up to a very little baby neck, and a little body that kept curling up when it was poked.

Baby P, I already adore you, you already have just as big a piece of my heart as your sister, and I can barely contain my excitement of hearing your little heartbeat for the first time tomorrow morning.

 Baby P at 12 weeks 1 day

Y3W: Missing my girl

                   This is Addie. This is my girl. I miss her every day. I miss this crooked little smile,

                                                           I miss her snuggly, quiet side,

                                      And I especially miss her silly, adventerous, hilarious side.

You're going to ask "where is she? Where did she go, or where are you that you miss her?" The answer is nowhere really. I'm not sure if it is a blessing or a curse to have a year off with your baby. I know a lot of American women only have 6 weeks off for maternity leave, and I think that is ridiculous. Addie never even started sleeping through the night until she was 15 months old, how are these poor women with newborns getting up (especially the breastfeeders and exclusive pumpers) all night with a newborn then getting everyone all ready and out the door, stopping off at daycare, working all day without their babies and then picking them up at 6pm and doing it all over again? I don't get it, and I have so much respect for the women that have to do that.

I had three full months off for maternity leave when Addison was born, and then when she was 12 weeks old, I started a new job and went to work two days a week for 4 hours a day. It was perfect. I was NOT ready to put Addison in daycare, but I didn't want to lose out on this job and it was time sensitive, so I was blessed that my dad happened to be off for a few months and was happy to watch her for me. It was wonderful. Until she was 9 months old, I worked my two afternoons a week (which got me out of the house and interacting with some adults), I knew Addison was happy with my dad, and my dad was happy to have her, and I had the rest of the week off to hang out with my girl. And at 9 months my dad went back to work and we found a wonderful home daycare that Addie still loves going to.  I kept just my one client until after Addie's 1st birthday and for over a year we did everything together. We went to swimming lessons, sign language classes, mommy and me group, we had playdates, we went for walks and went shopping, we snuggled, took pictures, visited friends and family, and most importantly, we PLAYED! We were literally attached at the hip!

When she was 13 months old, my mat leave benefits had been up for about a month, we were in our new house, talking about planning baby #2 and we needed me to go back to work full time. I cannot tell you how hard it STILL is for me. I was so blessed with Addison, I never had any post-partem depression, no baby blues, I dealt really well with the sleep deprivation, and my house was usually clean, meals were usually on the table on time, I felt like I really had it all together and that being a Mama was really my calling. But when I went back to work full time, I REALLY struggled. It probably didn't help that she was still getting up at least twice a night to eat, and that I was the only one getting up for midnight feedings, but I just found it so hard to leave her. The routine stuff is easy. It never bothered me having to figure out how to get up and get ready for work, get Addie ready, take her to daycare and go to work myself on time. That was easy to get the hang of. But being away from her all day... it's been almost 4 months now and it is STILL killing me.

I honestly LOVE spending time with my kid. I know parents who are always so overwhelmed they just want to get rid of their kids for a few hours, and a whole weekend would be wonderful, but I just can't stand being away from mine. I think she is the coolest person I know. She is absolutely hilarious, and loves to be funny and the center of attention, she is very aware and interactive so when I take her places, she just enjoys being out and about, and honestly is a real pleasure to take her everywhere we want to go. She has so much personality now that spending time with her is just fun. She isn't really work anymore. Trust me she has her moments, she isn't perfect and she knows how to throw one heck of a tantrum when she wants to, but there is nothing I would rather be doing than hanging out with her all day.

I get to see her for about an hour in the morning, but usually I am running around trying to get us both ready and fed, so she usually eats her breakfast in front of the TV while I get myself ready, and then I don't get to pick her up until 6pm every night, her bath is at 7 and she's in bed by 7:30.....So I get about 2 hours a day with her, and spend 8 hours a day with other people's kids wishing I was home with mine, instead of paying someone else to do what I wish I was doing. It breaks my heart that I only get to spend quality time with her on the weekends, and sometimes I have to work on Saturday's too.

The only way I am getting through it right now is knowing that I only have to do it until April. Then I will get to be home with my TWO babies, and I will hopefully get to be off for at least 6 months this time. I'd like to say I will worry about going back to work at that point. Ryan just started a much better job, maybe we can afford for me to work part time and at least have a couple days a week with the kids, who knows what could happen, but how do you make the decisions? I want to be home with the kids, but I also want them to have things they need. I want to be able to provide them with things like family trips and new clothes when they need them. Special toys at Christmas, a nice house, a boat... I know they are material things, but I grew up with those things and I want my kids to have them too. I also like working. I love my job, I feel like I do something important, and I don't want to lose that either. The other side of me wants to just be with them, make them lunch everyday, walk them to school, be able to drive them home when it rains... never miss a school play... it's so hard... Does it ever get easier?

Wordless Wednesday

                                                 Fast asleep on the floor of Grandpa's boat

Y3W: Baby Number 2

Y3W: Baby Number 2!

 This is me 10 weeks pregnant with Addison. Notice anything? Ya, me neither. There was a slight bump just starting, but I was the only one who could tell. Actually, I remember Ryan complaining when I asked him to take this picture because he said there wasn't anything to take a picture of.

 This is me 19 weeks pregnant with Addison. Theres a baby belly now! At this point I was getting very sick of hearing "are you sure the baby is okay? you're awfully small for 19 weeks".

Which brings me to this picture..... this is me today, 9 weeks 2 days pregnant with monkey #2. Yep, you read that right, ONLY 9 weeks 2 days... I am actually the same size that I was pregnant at 19 weeks last time. And this is real belly, not bloat. I look like this from the minute I wake up til I go to bed now. CRAZY!!!

 I had my first check up last Friday, and although we didn't really do anything (not much to see/hear at 8 weeks) I did get some paperwork for blood tests and an ultrasound. Like last time, Ryan and I have decided to forgo the prenatal testing for Down Syndrome and Trisomy 13. Reasoning? What's the point? This baby is ours already, and we already love it despite what it looks like and despite any special needs it may have. The testing is very faulty via ultrasound, and an amnio to confirm positive results with a risk of a miscarriage are out of the question. We've talked to parents of special needs kids and have gotten the same advice over and over. "There is nothing you can read and no one you can talk to that will actually prepare you for having a child with special needs. You are better off to just enjoy the pregnancy and God forbid something comes up later, deal with it then. For now, enjoy being pregnant and the thought that your baby is perfect". I agree 100%!

Addison was a breech baby and I had a scheduled c-section for her. While the Dr. was getting her out, he discovered the reason she was breech was because I have a bicornuate (heart shaped) uterus. Which means that instead of being a nice round balloon, there is a septum separating mine somewhere down the middle. I don't have a horrible case, the septum only goes part way down, but it means that there isnt enough room for the baby to turn once it gets big enough to want to be head down. Which means that I will probably have another breech baby. The Dr. wants to know if the baby is on the right or the left side though, which means an early ultrasound! Yay! I can't wait to see the little one squirming around in there. I will be 12 weeks by then, so baby should be nice and squirmy.

Update so far...
Pregnancy Week: 9weeks 2 days
Size of Baby: 1.5 inches, about the size of a prune
Weight gain: None yet
Sleep: Depends on the night. Addison is getting up to eat every night now, so even if I was sleeping well I would still be getting up around 2am for a bottle.
Gender: ??? Not even a guess yet
Names: Addison has kept us so busy it hasn't really even been a thought yet
Feeling: The last two weeks have been pretty great. No morning sickness, and the fatigue has started to lift. Thank Goodness because I was barely making it through the day.
Movement: I swear I felt something the other day, and last night more flutters... very sporadic
Belly Button: Innie still...
Cravings: No cravings, but I have aversions to just about everything. When I think of something that doesnt repulse me, I make sure I eat it right away.
Next Appointment : Ultrasound Oct 13th, Prenatal Appt with Dr. Oct 14th.

Dear Addison, 16 months old already

Dear Addison,

You are 16 months old today. Before I had you, I used to think that people that counted their toddlers ages by months were weirdos, why couldn't they just say their kid was 1 or 2? Or if they wanted to get really specific even 1 and a half would do... but after having you and watching how fast you're growing, I get it. I don't want to let one day slip away let alone an entire month! So you have not been 16 months old until today, and tomorrow you will be 16 months and 1 day old, and you will not be 17 months old until October 20th, and not one day sooner and I don't care if that makes me a weirdo.

You have learned so much in the past few months baby girl. You are talking all the time, and you have a huge vocabulary for your age. You can say:
Mama, Daddy, duck, look, that, bubbles, baby (one of yoru favorite words by far!), uh oh, bubba, yep, quack, belly, night night, hi, bye, dog, no, Elmo, and there are a few more that I can't seem to think of right now. All these words you use appropriately too. If we ask you what a duck says, you say "quack quack quack" and if we ask you what a bear or a lion says, you say "grrr". Daddy's even taught you a pirate says "argh" and you think that is hilarious. You call your grandfathers "Gippa" and Aunt Nikki you call "Kiki".

Your favorite things to play with right now are baby dolls. You LOVE your babies. You walk them around the house in their stroller, you feed them, burp them, put them down for naps, you hug them and kiss them, and you snuggle them on the couch. You even carry your diaper bag around with you and take out your bottles and clothes when you need them. It really is the cutest thing, you are such a good little mommy. You also love stacking blocks and rings right now, and I am amazed that you almost always stack the rings in the right order, from largest to smallest. You are so smart Addison. You are fascinated by your laugh and learn kitchen, that set never gets old, you love playing with your tea set and the kitchen together. You are really starting to play well on your own now, I can usually get the kitchen cleaned after a meal while you play now, and I love that our playroom is right off the kitchen so I can watch you playing. You think it is so funny to collapse into your pile of dolls and stuffed animals, and you fit right in with them. I love being able to catch these small moments that mean so much.

Our morning routine is getting easier and easier for me. You now drink your morning bottle snuggled in with your blankey on the couch while you watch cartoons, and I can get ready knowing you are safe and happy. You really seem to be understanding what is going on in the shows now, and although you don't watch a lot of TV, you do have a preference to what you do watch.

Your personality is showing through nice and strong now. You are hilarious. You just LOVE being the center of attention to anyone who will watch you, or talk to you, and you will do anything to make people laugh. You make funny faces, do acrobatics, and play games all the time. You do have an impatient side though, and you get frusterated very easily if things don't go your way. You are becomming very good at throwing tantrums. You hit, pinch and bite, and you throw your toys and hit them when you don't get your way. You also yell and scream and do your fake cry.

Daddy and I have been joking that we are going to be sending you to kingergarten with bubbas in your backpack. Addison, you are NOT ready to give up your bottles and you are still refusing to eat any substantial amount at any meal, and are still on formula. Every time we try to wearn you from it, you stop eating and we have to start all over again. Sometimes it is because you get sick, but usually it is because you are getting a new tooth and you never eat when a tooth is coming in. Right now you have your two front teeth, and bottom teeth, and you recently cut your eye teeth and two top molars! You cut the last three teeth while you were very sick with croup, and you were our little trooper honey, you were so good about it.

I really hate that I am back to work almost full time again. We only have wednesday mornings together now, and I REALLY miss having our time together during the day to go out and about, and just to play together. Knowing that your little brother or sister is on its way is exciting because I know you are going to be such a good big sister, but I am also a little sad that you will have to give up your position of getting all of our attention all the time. I really hope you adjust well to having to share us.

In the meantime, I am just enjoying every minute we have together just you and me, and making sure that you know you are the most special and beautiful baby girl in the whole world. I still rock you to sleep for all your naps (that I am home for) and every night before bed. I still get up with you at least 3 times a week in the middle of the night because you need a snuggle, or need your blankets put back on or a middle of the night snack. And I don't care what people tell me about letting you cry it out because I love our time together snuggling and rocking like that, and I will take it any time of the day or night that I can get it. You love to be held and kissed, and you always put your hands and feet to my face while I'm rocking you to get kisses. I love it when you do that, and I hope you keep doing it for a very long time.

Addison you will never know just how much I love you, I absolutely adore you, and would do anything for you. You really are my little sunshine. Keep growing strong and healthy monkey moo.

Love your mama
xoxoxoxoxox

 What a big girl riding the 4-wheeler with Daddy at the cottage!

 You LOVE to brush your own teeth! A little too much maybe, Mama can't touch your toothbrush without you fighting for it.

 This will definitely be the last summer you can bathe in the sink at the cottage. You are growing soo fast

 Look at this face! I just love it!

You LOVE to play outside on your climber. Thank you Grammie and Grampie Knight, best present ever!

Wordless Wednesday

Four-wheeling at the cottage with Daddy. She looks like such a little kid now, what happened to my baby?

Pinterest!!

I knew I should have just put my fingers in my ears and started singing when I heard about pinterest. I KNEW it was going to be something I would love and would be a way of eating up so much time that I don't really have. But... of course I looked into it and of course I am now slightly obsessed with it. There will be a new button to link my pinterest page to the blog shortly, but for now, I am tired so click on this link instead:

Pinterest

If you haven't checked it out already, do, you will love it, I promise.

I have lumped in all the things of interest for the new baby under "nursery ideas" I will sort that out later. For now take a look and see what it's all about.