Wordless Wednesday: Fun at the pumpkin patch!

Y3W: Christmas is Coming!!!

Christmas is Coming!

I LOVE Christmas. It probably has something to do with how much my mom loves Christmas and always went out of her way to make it so special for us, but I just can't get enough of the season, and love planning early for it. First on my list of Christmas planning? Addison's gift list of course!
Here's what we plan to buy the little monkey this year:

Her BIG gift:

The Step 2 walk in kitchen
 Addison has the little FP Laugh and Learn kitchen, she got it for Christmas last year and it is still one of her favorite toys. We figured although she may be a bit young for it yet, this is a great toy she will get lots of use out of  and be able to grow into instead of out of.

The Fisher Price Stand and Play Rampway
Addison learned to say "car" recently and has been playing constantly with her ride on car, and the little match box cars at daycare. She is also playing with her little FP racetrack that she got for Christmas last year, but is starting to outgrow it a little and mostly just runs the cars around the floor. Ryan and I agree that Addie would LOVE this!

Plasmart Plasma Car!
This was not on her list until last weekend, when we were in Chapters and she got to ride on one. She LOVED it, and motored around the store for quite a long time. It is so easy to maneuver and GREAT for her motor skill development.

Fisher Price Little Mommy Doll Stroller
Addison LOVES her babies, and takes very good care of them. She is always feeding/burpring/kissing/playing and napping her babies. She has a little umbrella stroller that she constantly marches them around the house in, but it's a cheapie and the fabric is always coming off, and she is much too little to figure out how to put it back on. So she really needs a new baby stroller. I think this one is a good size for her for now.

Those are the bigger gifts. We are also going to get her a few new books, some new bath toys (the little squirties aren't doing it for her anymore) and some craft supplies since Grammie and Grampie are getting her this craft table:

This table is so cool. It has the craft paper on the end of the table so you can just pull it accross for crafts. Addie will have 4 different coloured chairs. LOVE this!

We are so excited to spend Christmas morning in our own house this year. I can't wait to decorate and bake, and most of all, to see Addie's little face light up when she comes down the stairs on Christmas morning and sees what Santa has brought her.

Babyproofing 101

                                                         Look what we got this week:

                                                                         See why?

It's kind of hard to see in this picture, because it's starting to turn yellow, but this is Addison's first (and hopefuly last) black eye. In the mornings, I keep Addie in my bedroom with me while I shower and get ready for work. After that she watches TV or plays with her toys while I get her snacks ready for daycare and have breakfast myself. Monday, I forgot something upstairs, looked over at Addie who was completely immersed in Caillou on the couch, and ran up to get what I needed. Within seconds, I heard Addison climbing up the stairs. Addie knows how to go up and down the stairs, we haven't had gates because we wanted to teach her how to use the stairs and we wanted her to learn how to navigate her own environment. BUT she is NOT allowed on the stairs by herself. She knows it, and when I looked over the railing from upstairs, she saw me, smiled and continued up to me (little bugger). So I went to grab her. I hadn't even made it down the first step when I saw her lose her balance and go down. I am pretty sure my heart stopped beating entirely in that moment, I have never been so scared in my life. She was on the 5th step, and she knocked her head off the step she was on, then continued down on her back. She held her head up, and stuck both arms and legs out, and kinda starfished it down to the carpet.

I rushed down to her and as she was crying, I saw the little bump by her eye, which was already starting to swell, then I checked her over head to toe to make sure nothing was broken. She actually didn't cry for too long before she was up and playing again. About an hour went by and it was time to go to daycare. I was confident she didn't have a concussion or anything, and she was acting very happy so we went. I told her daycare provider to keep a close eye on her and I would call at noon. When I called, Addie was running around and playing and acting like herself.

So when I picked her up from daycare, her bump had become a black eye, and it has progressively changed colours daily to this nice yellow/purple/blue colour. Amazingly, there is not one other bruise on her body, but that was enough for me. That was NOT going to happen again. So after dinner that night, I went to get the gates. I went with the wood so it would somewhat match our stairs, and they're not bad. I actually don't mind them, and they do the job.

We put them up while Addie was in bed for the night. Her reaction when she came down and saw them? Went right over, pulled on it, and tried to stick her leg through.... haha better a stuck leg than a broken neck.

We are now gate people.

Y3W: My 1st Ultrasound

Y3W: My 1st Ultrasound

Guess who this is: OUR NEW BABY!!

I had my first ultrasound for baby #2 today, and I was amazed at how incredible it was. I don't really know what I was expecting, I have been soo excited about this baby, and have been in love with him or her since I first saw those two pink lines show up on the test, but I somehow thought that maybe after having been through it already, that it would lose something. I was so happy today to realize that nothing is lost on the second baby. Not only am I just as excited as I was with Addison, but the experience is just as special.

I was actually luckier this time around, because with Addison, when we refused the NT scan, we opted out of the 12 week ultrasound and I had to wait until 18 weeks and 3 days to see her. This time, due to my heart shaped uterus, they wanted to see where the baby was, and get an exact date, so 12 week ultrasound it was.

I don't even have my first real Dr. appt until tomorrow, so up until today, I hadn't even heard a heartbeat. You never know what is going on in there until you at least get a doppler on your belly. I was thrilled today when the tech showed me a very squirmy, very active, and very beautiful little baby. I was also thrilled that there was only ONE in there!

I didn't get much info out of the technician, she was very nice and let me watch the baby for a long time, but she really couldn't tell me much, they like the Dr to do that. She did tell me the baby was too small and squirmy to even guess at the sex, and she did tell me the heartbeat was strong, and that baby was very active. She also told me that Baby P was measuring AHEAD (though she didnt tell me how much) which surprised me because Addison always measured at least a week behind. At one scan, she measured almost two weeks behind!

So tomorrow I get to hear all the details from the scan, I am very eager to hear how far ahead I am measuring, and see if my due date gets changed, and I also get to book my next ultrasound, which will be my anatomy scan where *hopefully* Baby P becomes baby girl or baby boy.

Tonight, Ryan is away for work, and Addison is spending the night with Grammie and Grampie, and I will be home dreaming of that little hand that kept waving at me, the little arms that kept snuggling up to a very little baby neck, and a little body that kept curling up when it was poked.

Baby P, I already adore you, you already have just as big a piece of my heart as your sister, and I can barely contain my excitement of hearing your little heartbeat for the first time tomorrow morning.

 Baby P at 12 weeks 1 day

Y3W: Missing my girl

                   This is Addie. This is my girl. I miss her every day. I miss this crooked little smile,

                                                           I miss her snuggly, quiet side,

                                      And I especially miss her silly, adventerous, hilarious side.

You're going to ask "where is she? Where did she go, or where are you that you miss her?" The answer is nowhere really. I'm not sure if it is a blessing or a curse to have a year off with your baby. I know a lot of American women only have 6 weeks off for maternity leave, and I think that is ridiculous. Addie never even started sleeping through the night until she was 15 months old, how are these poor women with newborns getting up (especially the breastfeeders and exclusive pumpers) all night with a newborn then getting everyone all ready and out the door, stopping off at daycare, working all day without their babies and then picking them up at 6pm and doing it all over again? I don't get it, and I have so much respect for the women that have to do that.

I had three full months off for maternity leave when Addison was born, and then when she was 12 weeks old, I started a new job and went to work two days a week for 4 hours a day. It was perfect. I was NOT ready to put Addison in daycare, but I didn't want to lose out on this job and it was time sensitive, so I was blessed that my dad happened to be off for a few months and was happy to watch her for me. It was wonderful. Until she was 9 months old, I worked my two afternoons a week (which got me out of the house and interacting with some adults), I knew Addison was happy with my dad, and my dad was happy to have her, and I had the rest of the week off to hang out with my girl. And at 9 months my dad went back to work and we found a wonderful home daycare that Addie still loves going to.  I kept just my one client until after Addie's 1st birthday and for over a year we did everything together. We went to swimming lessons, sign language classes, mommy and me group, we had playdates, we went for walks and went shopping, we snuggled, took pictures, visited friends and family, and most importantly, we PLAYED! We were literally attached at the hip!

When she was 13 months old, my mat leave benefits had been up for about a month, we were in our new house, talking about planning baby #2 and we needed me to go back to work full time. I cannot tell you how hard it STILL is for me. I was so blessed with Addison, I never had any post-partem depression, no baby blues, I dealt really well with the sleep deprivation, and my house was usually clean, meals were usually on the table on time, I felt like I really had it all together and that being a Mama was really my calling. But when I went back to work full time, I REALLY struggled. It probably didn't help that she was still getting up at least twice a night to eat, and that I was the only one getting up for midnight feedings, but I just found it so hard to leave her. The routine stuff is easy. It never bothered me having to figure out how to get up and get ready for work, get Addie ready, take her to daycare and go to work myself on time. That was easy to get the hang of. But being away from her all day... it's been almost 4 months now and it is STILL killing me.

I honestly LOVE spending time with my kid. I know parents who are always so overwhelmed they just want to get rid of their kids for a few hours, and a whole weekend would be wonderful, but I just can't stand being away from mine. I think she is the coolest person I know. She is absolutely hilarious, and loves to be funny and the center of attention, she is very aware and interactive so when I take her places, she just enjoys being out and about, and honestly is a real pleasure to take her everywhere we want to go. She has so much personality now that spending time with her is just fun. She isn't really work anymore. Trust me she has her moments, she isn't perfect and she knows how to throw one heck of a tantrum when she wants to, but there is nothing I would rather be doing than hanging out with her all day.

I get to see her for about an hour in the morning, but usually I am running around trying to get us both ready and fed, so she usually eats her breakfast in front of the TV while I get myself ready, and then I don't get to pick her up until 6pm every night, her bath is at 7 and she's in bed by 7:30.....So I get about 2 hours a day with her, and spend 8 hours a day with other people's kids wishing I was home with mine, instead of paying someone else to do what I wish I was doing. It breaks my heart that I only get to spend quality time with her on the weekends, and sometimes I have to work on Saturday's too.

The only way I am getting through it right now is knowing that I only have to do it until April. Then I will get to be home with my TWO babies, and I will hopefully get to be off for at least 6 months this time. I'd like to say I will worry about going back to work at that point. Ryan just started a much better job, maybe we can afford for me to work part time and at least have a couple days a week with the kids, who knows what could happen, but how do you make the decisions? I want to be home with the kids, but I also want them to have things they need. I want to be able to provide them with things like family trips and new clothes when they need them. Special toys at Christmas, a nice house, a boat... I know they are material things, but I grew up with those things and I want my kids to have them too. I also like working. I love my job, I feel like I do something important, and I don't want to lose that either. The other side of me wants to just be with them, make them lunch everyday, walk them to school, be able to drive them home when it rains... never miss a school play... it's so hard... Does it ever get easier?