So I have finally decided that formula is not poison. Even though I was raised on formula and I have always been very healthy, I had this idea in my head that I just couldn't do that to Addison, and so even though she wouldn't nurse, I stood strong and have been pumping for her almost every two hours for eight months. I have been sick of it since the second month.
I do have my reasons for breastfeeding as long as I have. Addison showed signs of a milk allergy very early on, and most formulas are milk based so I wanted to keep her away from that (most babies with a milk allergy will also be allergic to soy). It was much easier to just stay away from dairy myself and know what Addie was getting. The other reason I have kept up with it so long is because Addison never gets sick. Considering I work with my clients at their daycare centers, I pick up all kinds of germs, and have personally been averaging getting sick at least once a month. Addison hasn't gotten any of my colds so far. I am very sure that Addie is getting the best from my immune system and I'm getting sick because I'm getting stuck with the leftovers, but that's okay. I would much rather be sick than see her sick.
However good my reasons though, the time has come to wean Addison to formula. Her milk allergy is under control and I've started her on lactose free formula which she seems to like and is gentle on her tummy, and I am really tired of having to drag the pump around with me anytime I go somewhere. Ryan is pretty excited about it too. I don't have to make special meals without milk or cheese in them, I'm not constantly holding us up before we go out so I can pump first, Addison can spend the night at her grandparents house without worrying about a milk shortage, and we can have a date night where I can actually have a glass of wine (or two) without worrying about getting the baby drunk or having to waste milk. I also have to consider that Addison has had complete control over my body for almost two years now, and I would like it back at least for a little while before I go through it all again for her brother or sister.
It's time.
Congrats to you for making it 8 months!! That is awesome. Though, I totally understand your post. Our Addison was losing too much weight after birth and my milk wasn't in yet so the pedi told me I had to supplement for a few days. I felt like the worst mom in the world. I cried my eyes out every time Adrian gave her the measly ounce of formula. It was like a dagger to the heart...I'd even leave the room. Looking back, I laugh but at the time it was absolutely awful and nothing anyone said made it any better. Hope the switch goes well on yo and Addison. Enjoy that wine!!! You have earned it:)
ReplyDeleteWe had the same weight issue and had to supplement for a few days too, which is where Addison got used to a bottle and wouldn't nurse after that. I felt the same way you did, like a complete failure, and the guilt was horrendous. Kinda funny now to look back, but they were such strong feelings. Everywhere you look they're enforcing breastfeeding, and they make it sound so easy. Someone should let new moms know that it's actually really hard for most moms and it's okay if they can't or don't want to do it.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how we was new mom's see things, were I am (or maybe it's just my peers) it's all about formula, my daughter has her father (and his side of the familys) dig issues, so the fact that breastmilk hasn't caused more issues makes me VERY happy! She'll be 6months in a week and I understand the annoyance with the pump that's for sure! I've seen the one time she was given formula and got soooo sick that it has me pushing through. I'm glad you have no guilt though you did what was right for you and your family and that's all that matters!
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